In the presence of a king.

   Ok, this is going to be a mix of both Crags and Crevices and Soapbox. I have been hurting, I have been hurting bad. My heart has been fractured, in that, I know that it is a step in life. It is something that each one of us must go through to try and find our one true love. Some of you may balk at that, I'm sorry you feel that way, odds are that you once believed in that until someone fractured your heart and you promised that you would never let it happen, and your heart became cold and calloused as mine once was. If you are that way now as you read this, I am sorry for you, and I can tell you that I may not know exactly the pain you have felt, but I have lived in the same emotional state, city, neighborhood, street, probably next door. In that, I had to move, I didn't like that neighborhood anymore. So, I have been trying to keep myself going. I'm sorry to those who are close to me for not letting you know, but at the same right, it has always been easier for me to express how I feel by writing it down. I feel as if I have once again been forgotten by the one who I placed the most important role on for a mate. Now, I know that she is in a tough spot, and long distance relationships are not easy in any way shape or form, and she also has a big plate in front of her. Yet, to be completely cut off, it hurts. So, I have been doing my best to keep upbeat, to make myself move forward, to smile through the tears and make a better way, to continue forward, and to just fake it til I make it.
    Then, this morning, I watched the 'Son Sadell Flashmob' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBaHPND2QJg , and I was thrown back to a sermon I once heard titled the same I believe. Sabadell is a city in Spain, it is 20 kn north-west of Barcelona, and 190 meters above sea level. It has seen it's shares of trials and tribulations, yes, I like using that phrase, just because, we all go through them. Yet, for me I look to the fact that this is a hustling bustling European suburb to a major metropolis, and they stop what they are doing to stand in the presence of a king. There is a point at 4:09 where the man's expression says it all. Heck, the whole audience says it all, people awesturck, children joyfully dancing in the streets, and so on and so forth, the tremendous awes and joys that music can bring.
    Why do I say 'stand in the presence of a king'? Well, there is a story that says, when King George heard the chorus of Handel's Messiah, he was so moved that he stood up. There is also another story that when asked by a com-patriarch on why he stood, he replied, 'even a king stands in the presence of a greater king.' Now in my searching I have found evidence of both, but yet, no concrete proof confirming nor denying it. Yet, I like the story, and the thought behind it. For me, whether it is true or not, I have to admit that something stirs deep within my soul when I crank up pieces like this and it hits poignant points, I am moved to stand and wave my arms like a raving madman. For me, there is power in this music, and for me, it is the power of God, and for that, I want to stand in the presence of a king.
     Now I know this is Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 in D minor, not Handel's Messiah, but yet, when it get's down to it, they're both praise and worship songs. In these times the writers usually chose to glorify their king, country, or God. Most chose to glorify the King of Kings in their works. In that, I believe that God himself was present in the writings of these song, He was in every penstroke and thought, He was there, and helped make these songs what they have become.
    I know some of you will argue the fact that many of these authors were maniacs with addictions and were no men of God. I will argue a discovery that I recently realized for myself. For those who may not have read the bible, there was a man named Saul, who persecuted Christians, not only did he persecute them, he killed them. He was a Pharisee, which would be considered the religious right of that time, he took joy in persecuting and killing Christians because he felt that was right. Until one day, on a dusty road to a place called Damascus, he had a confrontation with Jesus. A bright light shone down from above blinding him and all those with him, and then a booming voice came down from the sky saying, 'Saul, why do you persecute me?', now in that, Saul was the only one who heard those words, by Judaic account of the others that were with him, they were all blinded, and a 'voice so loud that it shook the earth spoke out, yet it was in a tongue we could not comprehend.' Gotta love the Jews, they keep track of everything, that's right, that's from their account, not the bible. Long story short, Saul became Paul, and instead of persecuting Christians, he became one of them, and became such a man that he, the self appointed 'chief of sinners', wrote the bulk of the new testament, was constantly chased, put in prison, on their equivalent of death row, and finally put to death for a belief that he had at one time not only persecuted others for, but had put them to death for it.
    Where was I going with this? When he speaks of his wanting or cravings that he must battle against, he does it in present tense.
     'I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God through Christ Jesus, is calling us'.  - Phillipians 3:12-14
      Yeah, so, for me, he wasn't some super Christian who could do no wrong, he was struggling to stay on the straight and narrow just like the rest of us, it was his diligence and faith which kept him where he needed to be. So yeah, that's just what was in my skull. I love each and every one of you and God does too.
-Preach

Trials and Tribulations

  Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So, let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
    - James 1:2-4

   In going through this verse and researching it, I came in with a whole new thought line, go ADD, I had planned to go into a long sprawling ADD influenced transition about how we must persevere through any trials and hardships to get through life, which is totally true. We all know it, life's hard, and when you make the choice to stand up and be counted, it gets harder, and yet, with the peace that passes understanding, it has an ease to it when you remember who's in charge, and I'll give you a hint, it's not you. Either or, yes, by all means do consider your hardships to be a possibility for great joy, let's face it, we don't remember normalcy, we do remember and tell tales of your escapades. You don't believe me? Ok, think about it, do you remember the times when absolutely nothing happened? Or do you remember those times when you barely got outta there by the skin of your teeth, or I can't believe that happened, it was so crazy and we laughed for hours after wards. Exactly, we remember the traumatic, humorous, tremendous moments, and in that they make us more experienced, and give us tales to tell.
   Ok, now, what I re-remembered, I say it that way, because I had learned it before, but since it didn't seem important at the time, I filed it into the back files of my mind. Til now, the thought?

Jesus' brothers thought He was crazy for awhile.

    Now I know that James, Jesus' half-brother thought He was crazy until after the resurrection, I always liked to picture James hanging with the others, doing the whole, 'Yeah, that's my brother, yeah, He does do alot of cool stuff, yeah... I don't know though, (and and speaking in a hushed tone while making a circular motion next to his head)...but he thinks he's the son of God... yeah... so... you do the math.' I also would have liked to be a fly on the wall to see what his reaction to seeing the proof. That is part of why I believe what I believe, why would his brother lie? It even says, 'Even Jesus' own brothers did not believe him'. John 7:5, and in that, I get it, I mean, what would you say if your sibling walked up to you and said that, and not only said it to you, but wandered around the south metro saying that. I'm betting there would be some damage control going on in your family. In the book of Mark it talks of it again, 'Jesus entered a house. Again a crowd gathered. It was so large that Jesus and his disciples were not even able to eat. His family heard about this. So they went to take charge of him. They said, "He is out of his mind."' Mark 3:20-21
So, in that, Jeusus' family thought he was a nutbag, and then he died.
    Normally that's when any normal story would end, but not this one, this one, Jesus raises from the dead, and not only shows himself to people, but to His family, and His family is now so convinced that not only do they believe, but His brother James, is regarded as the founder of the modern day church by many.
    For me, His family thought he was crazy, to the point where it is actually written in the bible, that they thought He was an nutbag, in a more wordy way. Yet, there came a moment where they not only stopped saying that, that they became committed to spreading Jesus teachings, beliefs, and love. 'The apostles all came together to regularly pray. The women joined them too. So did Jesus mother and his brothers.' Acts 1:12-14. Now, for me, if it was just a lie, why would they be committed not only to spread it, especially when his brothers thought he was nuts, if it was a lie, or had they seen a truth that they could not argue with any longer. Had they seen their brother, not only die, but come back from the dead. To the point where they knew the truth so much that they we willing to suffer gruesome deaths to help make sure that truth was spread. I'm just sayin'... I love each and every one of you and God does too.